HEADIN' HOME!

Or

Boarding Pass Roulette, Say What?!?

What's a NOWAT finale that isn't an epic?  Boring that's what so ya better grab a beverage and get comfy for this rather long trip-ender... as it progresses you'll understand why.

Saturday rolled around as expected with the realization that this wonderful adventure was coming to an end.

We4 met for Breakfast in the Edelweiss Dining Room for one last meal on the Rhapsody before heading for the Gangway, One-Last-Time, to find their LUG-gage and their Limo to Marco Polo International.  And they found Baggage Drop #1... right next to #2 but…

For some reason, one of Lenny’s Bags was misplaced.  After a scramble by Ships Personnel it was located in another stack and We4 found their Limo driver waiting at the exit.

The trip to Marco Polo was uneventful and our weary travelers were inside the terminal – by 930AM - 4 hours early, actually 3 if you count boarding time.  They found their respective airline Check-in spots easily and prepared to go about the necessary check-in procedure.

Now the day before, Chucky had been able to check-in online, but for some reason, Dragon Chic was required to Check-In at the terminal.  Once in the Delta Express line, she was directed to an automatic Kiosk to do the deed and retrieved her Boarding Passes without checking to see if her “TSA/Pre-Check” info was correct – [remember this little detail… it plays a big part for the rest of the trip]

Back in the Express Line, now Chucky is told his Online Check in was not valid without Passport Verification and is directed to the Kiosk as well.  Once done, HE, does check his boarding pass and all seemed to be in order… for now.

And of course, since they are so early, they can’t check LUG-gage for another hour and are directed to “Have a Seat until 11:15AM". 

The Tempelshifs, also had a hiccup in their procedure, including change of departure and a missing wheelchair for Donna, but all was eventually resolved and with copious amounts of Bacci-Bacci, Hug-Hug We4 bid their farewells and were off to kill time till LUG-Gage check-in.

The LUG-gage check process was fairly uneventful and they proceeded to Security where, SHE set off bells and whistles for some unknown reason and underwent a pat down.  then she had to wait for Chucky, whose Pull Along, Her shoulder bag and a partridge in a pear… [oooops, wrong NOWAT Reference] sent him in and out of the screening gate, and the bags in and out of the machine until Security was satisfied that he, and his STUFF were harmless.

Next Stop, Coffee, a Snack and a stroll in and out of Duty Free Shops for one-last-tchotchke before finding the Gate and settling in to wait First Call.

Once Boarding was called they dutifully got in the Priority Zone 1 line as is customary and as they started to process with Boarding Pass and Passports ready… BOING !!!

SHE is singled out to head into enhanced Screening Area behind partitions, complete with shoes off, bag searched, pat down, intense questioning etc. before she is released to meet Chucky who was directed to “STAND OVER THERE to wait for HER.”

NOW… The whole purpose of paying with the DELTA Gold Amex and having a Known Traveler Number registered with DELTA, is to have the Zone 1 advantage of getting on first to have plenty of overhead space and time to settle in before the hoards get on, but wait... it gets better.

Remember her not checking the boarding pass when it popped out of the Kiosk?  Well it seems that instead of the TSA/Pre-Check noted on HERS, she has a “SSSS” notation that apparently was for Random Security Processing.

Why, nobody could explain, but it will have further consequences as we continue our tale.

Now completely flustered for being singled out, DL and her very concerned Water Carrier Chucky, finally settle in for the long flight to JFK.  She read and snoozed, he knocked out 3 NOWAT posts on her old iPad before catching a half hours nap before landing.

Once at JFK, you first have to go through Customs and Immigration.  Of course they have “Global Entry” status so they sidle up to the Special Screening Kiosk where SHE gets her pass with no difficulty and once again HE gets “X”ed. This sends him in to Special Passport Control to have his Passport scanned - Twice - by a very Stern ICE agent who can’t seem to figure out why HE was “X”ed but… Stamp… Stamp… Stamp, he’s sent along to meet HER and they were off to retrieve the LUG-gage for customs processing and that’s when Not-So-Fun Part II began.

In their infinite struggle to confuse, upset and otherwise Piss Off travelers, JFK loves to send 3 arriving plane’s LUG-gage to one carousel while 4 others stand idle.  Oh Joy.  And with the Equipment jamming, starting, stopping and baggage handlers snatching bags off to try and facilitate the process, it is getting perilously tight on time to make the connection to FLL.

Finally, their LUG-gage dropped out of the sky… Ok, off the top belt of the creaking LUG-Gage machine, and they head on over to the Delta Re-Check Drop, praying that the bags will get to the plane on the other side of JFK on time.

And then it was time for the marathon hustle from the International Terminal, at one end of JFK, to Domestic Terminal #2, waaaayyyy over there at the other end of JFK. 

Now you can either go through security in the International Terminal – LOOOONGGG LINE - and then take the shuttle bus to Terminal #2, Or… haul upstairs to catch the AirTrain, to waaaayyyy over there and after exiting the train, truck down stairs, across two blocks of traffic and up to security where…

HE gets through the TSA/Pre-Check line, albeit it took 3 passes of the Pull Along and Tchotchke bag go get through while … 
[remember the “SSSS” on her boarding pass?] SHE gets sent to that Looonnggg Peasant line over there where…

SHE gets another shoes off, pat down, bag search etc. etc. etc.
 

NOW SHE is Really Pissed and is ready to demand a refund on her “Global Entry-TSA/PRE-Check Fee”.

After calming down and finding a charging station for HER electronics [apparently Apple Products don't like the USB charging port on the plane] she sends HIM off to find water and the Restrooms.

Boarding was non-eventful this time, [Thank Gawd… SHE would have exploded] and after a very bumpy ride, the Pilot managed to find FLL 30 minutes early.

Walking off the flying Cigar Tube, HE calls Greg who was just exiting I-95, to meet them at Arrivals.  Wonder of Wonders, their LUG-gage was one of the first on the Carousel so the wait at the curb was minimal and they were safely back at Casa d’ Chaos by 11:15 PM, 22 hours after lumbering down the Gangway of Rhapsody of the Seas.

If your eyes haven’t glazed over by now, not to worry, THEIR’s Have from this most stressful day of travel and an immediate meeting with MR. Dewar and Mrs. Kettle One was convened.

Hot showers were had and SHE was in Nonny-Nonny before you could say… “TSA/PreCheck-My ASS!”  
HE, However called another conference with Mr Dewar before crashing as well.

The usual Wrap Up may… or may not follow shortly, as well as the re-ordering of this NOWAT in Chrono order.  

Also once the Pics are sorted they’ll be posted on the Album Archives for all to marvel at.. or not.

Ciao 4 Now

Uncle Chuck & The Happy to be Back in her own Bed, 

Dragon Lady